Life Beyond the Third Standard Deviation
because the interesting stuff happens in the tales

These words are being read to you by none other than Richard Burton CBE.

Our knowledge of Toenex is largely fictional. It is said that after being raised on a kelp farm in Norway in 1847 he was stored in suspended animation until the development of the home computer in the early 1980’s. Other tales suggest he was the result of a numerical rounding error made during the latter stages of the space race but to which neither side will attest. More confusingly, some older Scandinavian folklore tell that he is made from the same raw materials as dust and wears a coat of shimmering starlight that is beautiful beyond compare, although not particularly water resistant and having no decent sized pockets.

Regardless of such rumour, it is true that whilst tiny nano-bots continue to rebuild his original superstructure, Toenex currently inhabits human form. Patiently, he awaits the return to Earth of our Victorian overlords who he predicts will arrive in enormous iron forged, velour lined, steam powered, spacecraft.

Should we listen? Dare we ignore?

Lower your weapons gentlemen, this one might yet prove useful.